A little humor from Gold Star Law
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: At the city morgue.
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
A lawyer tells another lawyer “I got a puppy for my son.”
The other lawyer says “Good trade.”
Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: What do lawyers do after they die?
A: They lie still.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
A contractor who lived a good life dies and accidentally goes to Hell. A few months later, Heaven realizes there was a mistake, so an angel calls a demon to work it out.
The angel tells the demon that they need the contractor back, because he lived a good life and belongs in Heaven. The demon says “Oh no, we love him here! He put in air conditioning and redid everything, we can’t possibly give him back!”
The angel says “If you don’t send him back to Heaven we are going to sue you!”
The demon laughs and says “Good luck finding a lawyer up there!”
Q: What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they are funny, and everyone else doesn’t think they are jokes.